Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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