Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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