and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
