she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize