Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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