Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
