walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
