i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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