so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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