who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
