I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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