Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
