just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
