I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
