Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
