Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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