I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
