i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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