I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
