my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
