My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ttyl tear gas
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
