good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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