Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have fence marks all over my body
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
