I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
