Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
