some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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