Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
