dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
