she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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