my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
