I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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