She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
