found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
