just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
