Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
