Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
