too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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