and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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