dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
