i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
