I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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