there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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