but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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