If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
