I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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