I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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