I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize