We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize