We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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