How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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