we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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