I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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