i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
jump out the window naked night went bad
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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