If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
