A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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