yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
