I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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