She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
