I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
wow bdsm is so cute
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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