In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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