His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize