You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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