fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
