Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize