Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You took a bar mat shot.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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