I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
