What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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